Skip to main content

Comment Wall

 

[Baby Elephants. Image Information.]

Storybook URL: Click here. 

Thank you for your feedback!

Comments

  1. Hi Katie! I love elephants. They are my mom's favorite animal! I did not know that much about elephants. I think it is really cool that you have a passion for them or at least find them cool enough to write about for a couple weeks! I, especially, liked your fun facts about them. I am all for a matriarchal society. It makes a lot of sense that only the females travel in packs because they would be the one's that have to take care of the babies. I think it would be really interesting to tell a story of why the males leave the parade. For example, they now have no more guardians if something were to happen to them. Does that impact life expectancy for the sexes? But, I am excited to see how you change the folktales! They are very fun to add a twist to, especially ones that are not as well known. They make it easier to be able to change what happens or how the characters interact.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, Katie! I love the premise of your "Endearing Elephants" project and can't wait to see more! I noticed from previous posts that you seem fond of this particular animal. Is there a reason behind it? Just curious about your motivations behind why you chose this as the topic for your stories and project! The site for your project is easy to navigate and the colors you chose are soothing on the eyes. In regards to the layout -- the image you chose for the introduction section seems blurry or pixelated? Not sure if that's just on my computer. Also, reading about how a group of elephants are called a parade made me think of that Dumbo song, "Elephants on Parade." Now I know it's a play on words! I'm interested in how you'll change stories with negative depictions of elephants to show their gentle side instead. Will you portray the elephants as heroes, or will you also give them faults and make mistakes? Can't wait to read more!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Katie,

    I love the intro on Elephants. I personally do not know much about elephants besides for them being gray and have a trunk, so I am glad that you walked us through more information on it. I think one area that could make the intro even stronger is to maybe cut the first paragraph into two paragraphs to make it easier to read. Overall, I am really interesting in reading your stories from your intro. You set it up really nicely.

    Your story, A Gentle Giant, is so sad. The elephant had only one friend who turned against him due to jealousy. One thing that confused me was how the beginning made it seem like he had no social support besides for the rhino, but all of a sudden at the end when he was having a fight, the whole herd helped him. Overall, great story. I can't wait to read more of your stories.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi!

    To start, I LOVE the elephant theme. I have found so many cool stories involving elephants as I have gone through this class and they are so much fun to read and write about. I also love the organization of your posts. I like how you have little headers for each section including citations. This makes it very easy to find the information the reader is looking for and makes you page look just that much better.

    Furthermore, I like that you are showing the gentle and loving side of elephants throughout your stories. As you said in the intro, elephants get a bad reputation because of their massive size, but in reality, they are very friendly animals. The first story was absolutely amazing and I loved reading it! I am very excited to see the other stories you share with us!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hey Katie! I really enjoyed going through your portfolio. Aesthetically, I think it reads incredibly well! The colors and images help bring it all together. On top of that, I think it is so cool that you are focusing on elephant mythology specifically! I didn't even think that was a thing! Your introduction was very nice and very easy to read. It offered a good foundation for your first story, and just good knowledge in general. Your first story itself was very sweet and fun to read! The way that you introduced the elephants as strong creatures made me think of Dumbo, which was my personal favorite cartoon as a kid. Having that contrast from the stereotypical image of elephants is a really good juxtaposition for your purpose in story writing. Representing them in that way helps with the overall read of the story and makes it really interesting. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Katie! I am back to catch up on your storybook and read up on the new story additions since I last visited your storybook. I still just love the way your site looks and all the pictures of the elephants - they are just so cute. Reading up on Story 2, I thought it was very well written. It was laid out very clearly and smoothly, and the lack of a variety of characters made it very easy to follow. I liked how you introduced the humans into the story, making it easily relatable for the reader (as we are humans). Reading your stories, I can't help but relate it to Disney movies that included elephants in their storylines. I think this speaks to your ability as a writer to create imagery in the minds of your readers and enable a creative aspect that is individual to each reader. Great job this week and I hope you've enjoyed writing all of your versions of elephant mythology!

      Delete
  7. Hi Katie!

    First off, I loved your website you designed with the beautiful elephant imagery on the front page! It really intrigued me to read what you created! I was unfamiliar with this story so I enjoyed reading something new! Is it true that elephants and Bush Cow's really fight or is that fiction? I also loved that you kept the same characters but changed the ending to have the elephant's family come to the rescue! It really showed off your creativity! I know you mentioned this story is about why the two animals are always fighting so I would have liked to see some history behind that! Like what started the fighting between the two breeds? Or was it just started between these characters? Also, it was clever how you made the elephant seem strong and ferocious when in reality they seem so gentle. Overall, great job and I can't wait to see what else you come up with!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hello,

    Let me just say I love the look you have chosen for your project. Your introduction captured my attention, and now I'm more intrigued to read more of other elephant stories you will rewrite. The first story was quite enjoyable and a great retelling. I was getting Dumbo/Ruldoph impression at the beginning. If I make a couple of small suggestions. You could improve the intrigue to your stories by creating unique titles to entice readers to look at your stories. Another suggestion is to make each line of dialogue into your own paragraph. Think about when you read a book. It's the same thing. It less confusing and clearer for the reader to learn who is speaking. I hope this helps, and I can't wait for the rest of what you write.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Katie!

    I have a special place in my heart for elephants so I really liked the concept of this Storybook. I appreciated how you proposed to give a more sympathetic storyline to the elephants because I really enjoy reading stories like those the best.
    Your introduction does an excellent job of preparing me for the stories to come so there's nothing that I would change there. In your story, however, I would suggest separating the areas of dialogue so that it makes it easier to read and lets the eyes flow better down the page. It would also be interesting to have more description of the fight between Tembo and Pongo. Does Tembo throw Pongo into a market stand with his tusks? Does Pongo roll to his feet, shake his head, and charge at Tembo again? It would make the fight a lot more dramatic and emotional if we had descriptions like these within.
    Overall, you've succeeded and done an excellent job of giving the elephant a more sympathetic character. I'm not sure if you plan to but it would also be interesting to try a story where the elephant is just a typical, silent elephant and see where that takes you.
    Excellent job!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey Katie! I read your story, “A Gentle Giant”, and I really enjoyed it. I like your style of writing because everything flowed very well and was very easy to follow along. Also, I was very entertained throughout the duration of your story since there was so much suspense on what would happen between the two friends. I wonder why so many people destroy friendships because of jealousy? I think it would have been really neat if you would have included what Tembo did to Pongo after the fight, and if he ended up accepting his offer of friendship. I really like how you expressed that family and friendship are vital aspects of life and should be cherished. Also, I really like the layout of your storybook page. I think the yellow background makes it much easier to read the stories since the words really stand out. Great Job Katie!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hi Katie! I really love the look of your site. I love the yellow color because that is my favorite color. I also really loved the picture of the elephants. Elephants are one of my favorite animals. I appreciate how in the introduction you give some background on the elephants and what they are like. That every interesting that the male elephants tend to venture out on their own, that is definitely something that I would not have known. But I can also see how this would be a dangerous thing. They have no one else around them so it could make it easier for them to get hunted. I think a good thing to do in the introduction is tell a little but more about what and how the history of the elephants tie into the actual stories you will be telling. But I really enjoyed everything good job!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Katie :)
    First I really enjoyed your introduction to your elephant stories. I thought the background information was really helpful and kind of fun to learn about because elephants are really cute. I like how your page looks like a National Geographic webpage, the yellow and pictures of the elephants really drive that home. It makes it feel very professional but it's not intimidating, it has a good balance. I like the human-like characteristics you gave to Tembo and Pongo in the first story. I love reading (and writing) stories about animals, it's always fun to give them their own personalities. The character development of Pongo is really interesting. He starts off as sweet, grows angry, and then realizes the error of his ways. That's also a great moral to have in the story. I'm happy you had Tembo's herd show up and saved him, even though they hadn't always been the most understanding. You tied this story together really well!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hey Katie! I used to be weirdly obsessed with elephants and even collected little figurines of them for a time, so I loved your storybook topic! I thought all of the background information you used in your introduction was as fascinating as it was informational, so good job. I liked that you used your platform to inform readers of some of the trouble that are endangering elephants today. I also liked the way you outlined the original stories! I think the little note about the way the stories would be re-written to favor the elephants was very helpful to know going in to the rest of your project, and I also like the way you gave a bit of background for the readers. I read "A Gentle Giant" to start and thoroughly enjoyed it. One recommendation I have is that you make the navigation bar have the actual names of the stories! I liked the story and enjoyed seeing the character development of the animals. I think perhaps adding some dialogue to the story could be a good element to implement here, but that's just a thought. I liked the way you made the story as the reason elepahants are destroying things all the time, and overall I just enjoyed your work! I look forward to reading more!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Katie! First off, I love the picture you have of the elephants on your comment wall and your overall theme because I love Elephants. I read your story, Why Elephants Have Terrible Vision, and I absolutely loved it. You are so creative and your story was well written. The story is sad since so many people and animals were starving, however, finally the animals were provided with more food. I also loved reading your story because I have not read any of the Nigerian stories this semester, so it was fun for me to read something new. I think it was very smart of you to include why elephants would steal from others since they are larger animals and require more food. This story was heart warming and made me realize how precious food and water is, something that is so easily accessible for us in the United States. I love how much you love elephants because my younger sister loves them as well. I think you did a great job and overall had great grammar as well. I enjoyed reading your story and I am looking forward to reading more.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hey what’s up Katie! I remember reading your first story, “A Gentle Giant”, earlier in the semester, so I’m glad that I am able to revisit your storybook and see how much progress that you have made. I still really enjoy the vibrant yellow that is displayed throughout your storybook. After being on my computer for a long period of time, its always nice to see a change up in color since most of the time I’m looking at a bright white screen! I read your other two stories, “To Do or To Die” and “Why Elephants Have Terrible Vision”, and I thought that both stories were great! I really liked in “To Do or To Die” how they elephants rebelled against the humans after the had polluted and destroyed their resources. I thought that both stories were very well written and flowed very smoothly. I’m glad I got to read your storybook!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hi Katie! I love elephants so I was really excited to read about your project! I really enjoyed that you included an introduction page with some basic information about elephants. I think that that really helps the reader know exactly what they will be reading about and also helps you not have to add footnotes to explain anything about the animal itself. I have always been fascinated by origin stories and 'pourquoi stories'- stories that explain why something is the way that it is!
    You also did a great job with structuring your stories, so that they flowed really well and the paragraphs were separated perfectly with the conversations and new ideas! The only thing I can think of for improvement would be to maybe title the stories on the home page rather than just having 'story 1' etc. Overall I think that you did a wonderful job with your project!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Introduction

All About Me Hey! My name is Katie and I am currently a senior at the University of Oklahoma. When people say time flies by in college, they aren't kidding! I feel like it was just yesterday that I moved into the dorms freshman year, and now within a couple of months I will be moving on to something new. I am currently studying biopsychology as a pre-medical student. I really enjoy sciences so I have enjoyed almost all of my classes I have takes throughout undergraduate so far. I spent the summer studying for the MCAT, and am currently in the process of applying to medical school! This semester I am excited for my classes, but anxious about how they will turn out with all of them online. However, it is important to be flexible, especially in a pandemic, so I am hoping to make the most of it! Besides academics, I love playing volleyball and doing other activities with my friends. My junior year I was the president of the OU Women's Club Volleyball team, and enjoyed traveling to

Week 11 Story: The Hidden Oasis

The Hidden Oasis In a poor village, there was a boy that was known for this love for animals. Although not getting enough food to satisfy his own needs, he always would give portions of his own food to his animals in order to keep them alive. He had a three dogs and two cats that he loved more than his own family. During one part of the year, there was a terrible drought that cost the village countless lives. Food was scarce and the boy struggled to gather enough food for his animals. He begged his parents to help him gather enough food for his animals, but the parents did no such thing. In fact, they threatened to kill the animals for a source of food for themselves. Although he didn't like the idea of stealing, he knew that is what he must do to keep them alive. He stole food from his parents, friends, and other villagers. Soon enough, people started to notice that his animals were growing stronger and fatter. The village was aware that someone was stealing, so they concluded it